So my life has had one of the most drastic changes recently, i moved out and now go to university. It was a big change and very scary. I feel as though maturity has be thrust upon me. I've gone from having my parents there all the time, looking out for me, making sure i'm well fed and happy. But now i have to do those things by myself. I've learnt how to cook (ish), a risotto is probably the wildest thing i've cooked to date- but i'm going in the right direction. A first the most difficult thing was finding knew ways to keep myself happy. At home i had my two best friends to cheer me up, my dog to make me smile and comfort me when i didn't feel like being happy, and my cat to annoyingly wake me up each morning with his purring. I know now that it wasn't the worst way ever to wake up. At first i thought "ahh i just can't do this, i'll drop out, do some resists and reapply to a university in London and live at home" But i stuck it out and soon realised i was living with some really great people (and some messy people), i was at one of the best university's in the country and i was being taught by leaders in their field.
One of the best things about being here is that i'm not moving back and forth twice a week between my parent's houses. I have one room, which is where i sleep every night. I don't wake up disorientated and having to think about where the hell i am. So that's pretty great. Don't get me wrong i do miss my parents so much, but it's nice to have some consistency in my life.
I feel really happy here, and i'm so glad. Even though it is stressful with all the work, it's nice to be challenged and i'm loving it.

Sadness

I've never really had to experience the overwhelming sadness i've been feeling this past week, today my fears for my poor doggy were confirmed, and i'm heart broken. When i was at school i was quite literally fighting back the tears with all my effort, and once i started to walk home in the dreary weather, i just cracked. I love my dog so much and the thought of her not greeting me when i get home, her tail wagging when she's looking for frogs that just are not there, they way she knows when i'm feeling sad and comes and hugs me- she's everything to me.
I feel bad, because I know people lose family members everyday, and i know people must be thinking "she's just a dog" but she's so much more to me than that. I've known her for 11 years, i've seen her grow up just as she's been with me throughout my life, so the thought of her not being right there beside me, makes me so upset.
She's not just man's bestfriend, she's my best friend too.